This semester has been a semester of many lasts: the last prom, the last lacrosse game, the last set of high school finals, the last group lunch, the last time we walk down the halls of Arapahoe together. The last time a class of 594 or something like that, will be together, ever. That's really scary. After graduation next Thursday, I will never see some of the people I have met in high school, ever again. There's much to be said about what the class of 2016 has experienced together and for a majority of our four years together, we've all had a fun time with one another. But as tomorrow comes and we see that it's our final day as a senior, as an Arapahoe High School student, there is much to be said.
If you asked me how I thought my high school experience would turn out four years ago, I would tell you something completely different than what has happened. These past four years have shocked me, made me grow, allowed me to find strength in brokenness, given me joy, but have shaped me to be someone different than I was when I first walked down the halls. I didn't expect to have a rough freshman year and lose a majority of my friends. I didn't expect to become lonely. I didn't expect to go through a school shooting. I didn't expect to date many boys and then fall head over heels in love. I didn't expect to have my heart brutally broken. I didn't expect to get so emotionally attached to the class of 2014. I didn't expect to love chemistry my junior year. I didn't expect to have my morals questioned. I didn't expect to meet some of the most incredible friends. Most of all, I did not expect to have senior year be one of the hardest (emotionally), but best years of my life. If you asked me what I wanted for my senior year to look like on the first day of school back in August, you would hear me say, "put it on rewind and get me to graduation."
I was told by so many people that senior year surprises you. I was told that senior year is so fun. I was told to not wish my senior year away. I was told that it goes by so fast. Truthfully, everyone who told me that ended up being right. I spent so much of my senior year wishing my circumstances were different, wishing I had never come home from Uganda, wishing I never dated anyone, wishing I had invested more in friends, wishing I knew what I wanted for my future. However, senior year has a funny way of folding out in front of your eyes and you don't realize it, but when you do, you are in the midst of one of the most fun and carefree times in your life and you are enjoying it! Here I am, one week away from throwing my cap into the air, looking into the eyes of many classmates, and beginning to say some final goodbyes. I don't know if I will be able to do that. I am shocked by the outcome of this year. I struggled so much first semester, but for some reason, second semester came with so many blessings and so much growth and healing it's incredible.
I have learned that moments with your high school best friends come only every so often, so you need to cherish them. I have learned that it's more about having relationships with people and creating memories with others than it is about getting the grade. I have learned that it's about living in the moment and not looking behind you or in front of you. I learned that you don't wish away your last moments of childhood and freedom, but instead, you cherish them and the people you're sharing them with.
To the juniors, sophomores, and freshmen: do not take your senior year for granted. It truly does fly by super fast and before you know it, your parents will be sending you off into the world by yourself. Invest in friendships and tell people you love them. Go out and have fun, don't waste all of your year studying for your AP classes or trying to get the A. Grades matter, but they don't define your worth. You will look back on your senior year, remembering how great it was to you.
I know that I wished away my senior year, and I wish that I hadn't. But I have learned in the final days, that I can still appreciate senior year for what it is. I have many goodbyes to say that I don't want to do, but it's ending what was once a great chapter in my life and allowing me to move onto bigger and better things. The idea of college is scary, especially in a state far away from home, where I literally know no one. But because of that choice, I know that the Lord will grow me, surprise me, and shock me just like He did this year. For that, I am forever grateful. The most growth happens when we are uncomfortable.
Goodbye senior year, you were one for the books and I wish that I had not wished you away, but I do not wish I could relive you. Thank you to everyone who gave me memories I will hold in my heart forever.
Sara
