The Storm Rages On

As the week hits the beginning of the end, the stress levels increase, the exhaustion sets in, and the cloud of bad moods hang over my head. This week started out very stressful and enemy provoking. But the enemy has not won and he will never win. Jesus paid our debts and he fought the fight of faith. The Lord has proven time and time again that in a bad situation, He is good and His love endures forever. The Lord has shown that in every circumstance there is always a beautiful and good outcome. The Lord is so so good even on the worst days. Often times I get so wrapped up in all the chaos and bitterness and the mess I'm in, I forget that the Lord has placed me in this situation for a reason and that when I can't handle it all any longer, He will be there by my side ready to fill my cup up again so I can go out and share it. When I am so overwhelmed with worry and fear and doubt more than likely, I become so consumed in the negative that I forget that I have no control over the situation whatsoever. And when I focus on the worry and doubt and fear, I lose the trust that I should be putting in the Lord. But as I was getting out of the shower from an intense prayer with the Lord, He whispered in my ear, "Do not fear, I am with you. Do not worry, put your trust in Me." Oh what a calming and wonderful reminder that the Lord is good and He is faithful. But this wasn't the only time that the Lord had spoke to me today. When I was in the car driving home from Sandburg Elementary, a song was playing. The lyrics go a little something like this: "You are the everlasting God, the everlasting God. You do not faint you won't grow weary. You are the defender of the weak, you comfort those in need. You lift us up on wings like eagles... Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord we will wait upon the Lord we will wait upon the Lord." And in the song, there was a child's voice reciting the verse Isaiah 40: 29-31 which says, " Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." In the midst of the chaos and fear and worry and doubt that the enemy keeps pushing on me, I will not fear. For the Lord is with me fighting the battle. He has already won and He will keep winning time after time. Christ has come and He will come again. I believe. I trust the Lord. He makes all things work together for His good. When I feel overwhelmed and like I am drowning, He is my lighthouse and He is my rock. I won't be shaken. I will come to Him, get my rest and continue to go out and share His unending love.

Matthew 11:28
"Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."

God is so good friends, even in a raging storm. Do not fear, but put your trust in the One Who loves and adores you. Keep up the faith. Put your trust in the Lord.

Sar

Forever

Last night, my dearest friend Kristin Good celebrated her 18th birthday by having a worship night at her barn. We sat and sang songs. We praised the Lord. We thanked Him for the unending love He provides us with. We sat there and God was so present. I could feel Him moving in so many lives. After worshipping, some of Kristin's best friends went around and talked about how Kristin had impacted the lives of so many and how she will continue to do so. There are no words to describe how loving and compassionate and inspiring Kristin is. She makes everyone want to be a better person and she shares the Lord's love with everyone. It's so amazing and inspiring. But in the midst of this celebration, the Lord was doing so much more. The Lord was revealing Himself to me in the neatest way. The Lord had shown me through song that I get to dwell in His house for the rest of my life. At first, this was so overwhelming. But after thinking about it, if being in the Lord's house is anything like sitting in the barn with all my best friends and people that love Jesus is what my forever looks like, I am 110% okay with that. Just the thought of it now is so exciting and thrilling and amazing. I cannot wait for the day that I get to be reunited with my Daddy and that He just holds me in His arms. What will that even be like? Will I be speechless? Will I cry? Will I shout His holy name in joy? Spending forever with my Creator, oh how glorious that sounds. I've realized that I don't want anyone else that I know to miss out on this amazing opportunity to know and be loved by a God who forgives and redeems. You can't miss out on it! If anyone does, my heart breaks. Because what is better than spending forever with someone who loves you even when you fail? What is better than knowing that if you hate yourself, someone else loves you entirely for every quirk you have? What is better than knowing that at the end of the day, when you are broken, someone is going to redeem your heart and make you whole? Nothing is better than what God has to offer us. The way we live our lives is just a glimpse of what forever will be like when we dwell in the kingdom of the Most High God. I don't want my life to look like black and white, I want my life to be all white. I want people to know me and see my life as a picture of His everlasting love. I want to share the Lord with everyone. I want the Lord to use me for His glory. Nothing in my life will ever be done solely through my doing-it's all because of Him. The love that Kristin has for people is the love the Lord has for us. This is real love. This is genuine love. This is God's love. I want to share it. I want so many people to bask in the love that He has provided with us. I want people at the end of the day to let down their walls and enter into forever with me. I want everyone to know what paradise is like, and how we will all be there someday forever.

"This is but a picture, a mere glimpse of what I will be doing forever."

Power Struggle

After the shooting, I had the hardest time with being happy with the circumstances I was in. I had walked out of Arapahoe on the 13th completely defeated. The enemy had stolen all of my joy and I felt like there was no way for me to win it back. Yet, as 2014 started out with a bang, God really tested my heart. God had given me the opportunity to experience life as a typical teenager, and I did. I saw what it was like to be at parties and to see people make horrible choices unconsciously. The after math of it all was even worse. There were rumors and lies about so many good people, and I got caught up in it. I'm not going to lie to you, I love parties. I think they are so fun. I like being around people, even if they are drunk. Hahahah. But I think as the year progressed and as I became more and more enveloped in the partying, I had some curiosity that arose. I wanted to drink and I wanted to smoke. I saw that maybe it wasn't all that bad. I was desperate to find something that would bring me joy, even for the slightest bit. But right when I was falling into the temptations, the Lord swooped me up into His loving and caring arms. The Lord had spoken, and He had made it very clear that the choices I wanted to make, weren't very fulfilling choices. So with that, I started to press back into what God had called me to do; to practice what I preach. And I think for me, that was really good. I didn't want to be seen and known as the girl at Arapahoe who goes out and drinks and smokes and blacks out on a Saturday night and then show up to church the next morning. Don't get me wrong, God loves us all, but I just cringed at the thought of being a major hypocrite. So, as the Lord transitioned me into a life that would please Him again, I slowly felt like I was drowning. I felt like the sea was raging on and it would never be calmed again, it was beyond draining. I just wanted to be happy again. I could tell that there was a major power struggle between the enemy and God while I was sitting in a hurricane. But as each day went by, I found more joy in loving others and spending time with God than I have ever felt in my entire life. I had seen and experienced the joy that going to parties gave me, and I have and still am experiencing the joy that the Lord fills me up with daily. Let me tell ya, being with God and finding joy in Him is so much better than any man made creation. After the shooting, I seriously thought that I was never going to be happy again. I am so proud to say, that after having many sleepless nights and many, many tears, the Lord really has really rocked my world. I have seen so much joy and love be spread around these past three months than I ever have. People that I never even talked to, they are such good friends to me know. People that I never thought I would talk to on a daily basis, are my best friends now. And it's such a blessing. The power struggle is over. God has won and He will continue to win. We were made to be joyful. We were not made to walk around feeling depressed. But I have learned, that even when life sucks, we get to choose if we want to keep being sad, or if we want to turn our frown upside down and find joy! We get to wake up every morning with the choice of happiness or sadness. We get to wake up and get to decide if we want to live in light and truth or darkness and lies. That is the best feeling!! So wake up every morning ready to decide the good, not the bad. We were made for joy!

"Our hearts were made for joy. Our hearts were made to enjoy the One who created them. Too deeply planted to be much affected by the ups and downs of life, this joy is knowing and being known by our Creator. He sets our hearts alight with radiant joy." -Unknown

"If one is joyful, it means that one is faithfully living for God, and that nothing else counts; and if one gives joy to others, one is doing God's work. With joy without and joy within, all is well."
- Janet Erskine Stuart

"Live for today but hold your hands open to tomorrow. Anticipate the future and its changes with joy. There is a seed of God's love in every event, every circumstance, every unpleasant situation in which you may find yourself."
-Barbra Johnson

"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days."
-Psalm 90:14

Beautiful Mess

Life is such a beautiful mess. How often do we stop and realize how beautiful yet crazy this life is? Not often enough. We just keep going on with the flow of life. We cross one thing off our to do list and move onto the next thing on our agenda. This world consumes us. There is never enough time in the day to just be silent. There is never enough time in the day to really sit back and relax. Often times, it's not until something bad happens, that we ask God for help. When things go a wry and we need help, we call out to God. We cry and cry and cry until He saves us from our own self pity. We blame God for bad things happening, when in reality, it is our sinful nature that allows bad things to happen to us. The messes that we make, God is always right behind us cleaning up what we haven't. God is the first one to be upset with us and the first one to forgive us. More than most times, we are the last people to forgive ourselves. But why not get into the habit of forgiving yourself first? Why not realizing that you messed up and that you won't do it again? Why blame God for letting it happen when you were the one to be disobedient to what He said in the first place. It's not until we finally make it out of the mess that we realize we are lost and alone without God. That even in the worst situation of our life, God is GOOD; even in the midst of a hell storm. God makes a mess into a message, a beautiful one at that. There isn't a moment in the day that God isn't good, because HE IS ALWAYS GOOD. When we decide that being one with the Lord and obeying Him is more important than living in the world, prosperity and life and freedom and joy overcome our hearts. We meet God in the midst of it all and experience His goodness forever. As humans, we have this first nature to think that if anything bad ever happens, it's because the Lord wants it to. Really though, that is not the case. The fact of the matter is that, bad things happen because of sin. Not because God is not good, because God is always good. But after the hell storm is over, we need to be still and just wait upon the Lord. Just sit and listen. Don't talk or go off onto the next errand you have to do, just shut up and wait. God wants to talk to you because a majority of the time we are the ones doing the talking. But just listen and wait patiently until the Lord calls you by name and speaks truth into your heart. We need to realize that every mess made is turned into something beautiful and we can be redeemed from it. In the Lord's presence, we are made whole. And in the Lord's goodness, we find freedom. So let it go. Learn from your messes. Be quiet. Listen. Find freedom and be made whole.