Saving Grace in Disguise

July 21, 2015, I stepped off the plane back onto Colorado soil for the first time in three weeks. I was devastated. Truthfully, I had just had the most life-giving three weeks of my life and I came home to a world of hurt and an unsure senior year. I didn't understand why God was placing me back in Colorado for one more year. Fast forward to August 14, 2015: the first day of my senior year. This year has been a year of uncharted territory and I had no idea what to expect. First hour, I walked into my peer internship class, where I signed up to go to a class with a student who has a disability. By the grace of God, I was partnered up with Spencer Townshend.

Spencer is joy. Spencer is a -sneak-peek of sunshine on a cloudy day. Spencer is that smile to cheer you up when the tears are streaming down your cheek. Spencer is unconditional love; he doesn't care who you are or what you look like, he wants to know who you are (literally he will ask "who are you?") and he wants to be your friend. Spencer is strong, he loves to show you his muscles and kiss them when you ask him to. Spencer is smart. Spencer is silly: he will sing for you even when it's not the most appropriate times, but it will make you giggle like no other. Spencer is kind: he is always asking why someone is sad or upset or grumpy. Spencer is hope. Spencer is life-changing, world rocking, 180 degree flipping. Spencer is my senior year saving grace.

There have been countless times when I didn't understand why I was coming home from Uganda. I didn't understand why God was taking me away from my place of joy. Last year, I was so wrapped up in my relationship and I didn't have much an identity without my boyfriend. So this year, it was terrifying for me to not really know what I was walking into, much less, who I really was. There have been days where I feel confused and alone and unsure of who I am and my heart has ached because of this. But because God is a good, good Papa, and He holds true to His promises, God blessed me with my favorite friendship this year: Mr. Spencer Townshend. On the days when I wake up and don't feel like school is worth it, Spencer's bright smile and "happy&strong, feel too good&better attitude" has kept me going and made the day so much better. Or on the days when I would come home from school feeling defeated, like I wasn't good enough, his mom, Mitzi Townshend, would send me videos of Spencer telling me he loves me and hoping that my day was good. What a gift. When the world seemed so cold and painful, Spencer was the warmth and some of the glue to put back the broken pieces. Spencer has single handedly made my senior year a thousand times better than I ever expected it to be. He has become my absolute favorite human and senior boy. Spencer is my best friend and my guy. I love him. He brings me joy and he's sparked a passion inside of me for children with disabilities. Spencer has helped me figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life, which is to help others. Every. Single. Day.

This week, I got accepted into my "reach" school, also my first choice: Appalachian State University in Boone, North Carolina. I hope to attend there next fall if that is what the Lord wants for me. There, I hope to double major in communications and global studies, and minor in special education. The first two majors were decided when I came home from Uganda and it's what I have a passion for. But throughout this year, spending a majority of my time in S-6 has really allowed my heart to have a passion for children with special needs as well. Spencer gets a lot of credit for sparking that passion in my heart. He's the biggest inspiration to me.

So, as I continue to end my senior year with good days and bad days, I wanted to take some time to reflect and tell you guys about my blessing in disguise this year, Spencer. I hope one day all of your lives' are as touched as mine has been by Spencer. Now I understand why I had to come home from Uganda. I understand why God brought me back to Colorado for my senior year. My life has been dramatically transformed and Spencer is a huge reason as to why I know a little bit more about who I am becoming and my identity.

Here's to you, Spencer, my guy, thank you for making all my days bright. You are a glimpse of the joy in the heavens above. You are a sliver of hope from Jesus. You are incredible. I am so thankful for the opportunity to know you. You have helped me figure out who I want to be and where I want to go. I am so thankful for coming home from Uganda this past summer so that I could become so close with you. But I am even more thankful to go back to Uganda this coming summer and know when I come home, you will be here, happy&strong, kissing your muscles.

You inspire  me to unconditionally love everyone.
Thanks Jesus, for making me step foot back into Colorado on July 21, 2015. You sure have rocked my world since then.

Sara